


Because I Could Not Stop For Death

by FakePlastikTrees



Category: Lovecraft Country (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post Finale, ghost sex kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:53:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: Ruby wakes up after the events of the finale. Now she's got to figure out how to bring Christina back, but first, she has to convince Leti to help her.
Relationships: Ruby Baptiste & Letitia "Leti" Lewis, Ruby Baptiste/Christina Braithwhite
Comments: 34
Kudos: 172





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still refusing to accept that finale :) This is my therapy.

While Ruby sleeps, she dreams.

She dreams of the kiss she and Christina shared in the basement, of the way her heart beat so fast when they walked upstairs together, and the way it took her by surprise when Christina stopped her halfway and kissed her, how soft it was, how sweet her tongue tasted.

Ruby dreams about how she touched Christina, how she felt as though whatever walls they’d kept up for safety, because they’re two guarded people and that wasn’t going to change any time soon, were crumbling just a little. The sweet release, hers and Christina’s. And then it would start again, that moment of hyperawareness right before the kiss. Over and over, Ruby floated through a dream state of contentedness, of pleasure, and maybe happiness. 

Except now. Now she dreams past the second and third time they lose themselves in each other. Now, Ruby puts on her robe, asks Christina if she wants a drink from the kitchen, feels her heart in her throat when she stops to get one last look at her at the door. 

“Hurry back,” Christina says, hugging Ruby’s pillow and smiling, and the weight of what she’s about to do is suddenly very evident. 

Ruby doesn’t want to dream this. She wants to go back. To kisses and caresses, and Christina gasping her name. She hates seeing this. Hates seeing herself give up the security and comfort, and perhaps even love, because she can’t help herself when it comes to Leti.

There’s Christina, finding Ruby in the basement, the look of hurt and anger, but mostly hurt. 

She doesn’t want this dream. She doesn’t want this to happen. She hates that it’s happening. She wants to go back. But it’s still playing on, and she’s explaining, trying to explain it to Christina, trying to talk her out of killing Tic. 

“I tried to reason with them–Ruby, why are you doing this?” 

The pained look in Christina’s eyes is too much.  _ She doesn’t want this _ . She wants to wake up. Christina casting some kind of spell.  _ No, not this _ . Ruby feeling faint, and then, darkness. 

She wakes up in a start, gasping, her mouth dry, and her eyes straining against the light for a moment before her sight focuses upon the needles in her arm, the medical tools, William in the bed a few feet down, and Christina, nowhere to be found. Her arm is the least of her worries as she wanders around the house moments later, searching for Christina and coming up empty. She tries calling Leti, she has no idea how much time has passed, but she knows that something doesn’t feel right. 

Her blood runs cold as she rushes upstairs in search of clothes, and finds her dresser open. It all lines up pretty quickly and she can imagine what must have happened, so she dresses, managing to slip on her shoes before she hears the distinct sound of the front door opening. She freezes, listening for Christina’s voice, holding her breath, and then exhaling heavily at the sound of Leti’s voice instead. 

“Ruby!” 

Leti is wild-eyed, and dirty, remnants of blood sticking to her as she storms around the first floor, shouting Ruby’s name. 

“Ruby!”

“Leti!”

Ruby catches up to her in the kitchen, meets her halfway in a tight embrace, and the way Leti clings to her, and sobs into her shoulder makes Ruby feel less awful about turning on Christina. Like maybe this might have been worth it. So she holds her just as tightly, finding solace in the fact that Christina kept her word despite what might have happened. 

“I thought you were dead,” Leti mumbles.

“I know. Me too.” 

“I really thought that bitch killed you.” 

Ruby swallows hard and waits before asking, “Is she--is she dead?” 

Leti pulls back slowly, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand before meeting Ruby’s gaze. 

“Yeah,” Leti says, softly, though she can’t hide the hardness in her tone. 

Ruby nods, turns away because she can’t let Leti see her emotions. She knew this would be a possibility when she made the choice to help her, and now the worst has happened, and they’re here. 

She takes a seat at the breakfast table, feeling like her legs will give out if she doesn’t, as she struggles to keep her emotions in check. She’ll fall apart later, when she’s alone. Now is not the time for put-on sympathy. She doesn’t want it. 

“Aticus is dead,” Leti says suddenly, and Ruby finds her sister’s solemn gaze instantly, reaching for her hand. 

“What? But I thought...what happened?” 

“We thought she was you, she–attacked me and got to Aticus before I could get to her. She finished the spell, but--well, anyway, it’s over.”

“Wait.”

Ruby drops Leti’s hand, confused, her heart racing. 

“Back up. She attacked you?” 

“Yeah. I thought I was dead for sure, but then, I woke up with the mark of Cain.”

Leti pulls her shirt up to show her. 

“She’d removed it when she asked for the book of names earlier, I don’t know how I got it back.” 

“She asked you for the book of names?”

“Yeah,” Leti snorts. “Claimed she could find an alternate way to do her spell without Atticus’ blood-” 

Ruby holds her hand up, “Stop.”

“What-”

“Just stop. She said she could find another way to do her spell and you said no? Why?”

“Ruby, she was clearly full of shit. You really expected me to fall for that?”

“Yes!” 

“Why?” 

“Because she would have done it for me!” 

There’s a deafening silence then, as Leti tries to find clarity in Ruby’s anger, as if she’s trying to drill into her that she’s being crazy. 

“You’re alive because she promised me you would stay alive,” Ruby’s voice trembles. With rage and hurt, and a million other emotions she doesn’t think she could process now. “This?”

She flicks Leti’s shirt up.

“She gave you FOR me. She made sure you stayed alive, she gave you an out and you killed her! And for what? Huh? For Tic to die anyway?”

“Ruby--”

“Nuh-uh. This is just--I don’t know why I’m surprised anymore. You are--all you know how to do is take and take, and take, and she--” she catches herself, the motion welling up in her chest, and catches her breath, exhaling slowly to keep the tears at bay, “Get out.”

“ _ Ruby _ .”

“Get out of this house, Leti.” 

Leti remains in place, staring at the side of Ruby’s face for who knows how long before finally heading for the door.

“Where is she?” Ruby asks before Leti can leave. 

“Ardham.”

The door clicks shot softly soon thereafter, and at that, she makes her way upstairs, bone tired. She needs to think. She needs to figure out a way to bring her back, she needs to fall apart, and she grants herself permission to do just that the moment she walks through the bedroom door. 

The bed is unmade still, the sheets exactly how they left them when they were last here, and Ruby just wants to go back to that. She wants to have gone downstairs for drinks for them both. She wants to have spent the rest of the night with Christina, committing her body to memory, letting her do the same. She doesn’t want this. She doesn't want to be sobbing into Christina’s pillow until she’s exhausted herself to sleep.

She wakes from a sleepless dream hours later, when it’s dark, both outside and in Christina’s house. It’s as if the little bit of sleep was enough to set her mind straight, to clear her head long enough to jump into action, so she does. She gets up and heads straight for the basement, where she knows she’ll find a collection of empty vials she can fill with hers William’s blood. 

_ Intention, location, and a body. _

She’s got all three, and she steals but one glance at William before she knocks back a vial’s full. She’s used to the taste now, it doesn’t really faze her anymore, but the transformation is different. It’s different being in the body that’s brought her so much pleasure. She dresses, and watching herself in the mirror, in his reflection, she can understand why Christina is just that much more different in this disguise. 

It’s one thing to be white, but to be a white man, well, that’s a whole other ballgame and Ruby is ready to see just how well she can play. 

******

As she suspected, it takes little convincing to get a few men to do what she wants. A little white privilege and a hefty wad of cash, go a long way in the seedy underbelly of humanity. 

She stands back, unable to look at Christina’s body, crushed under stone and debris, as three men she’s paid three hundred dollars each, have at the stone with a pick axe. She’s careful to hide her eagerness, her anxiety over the whole thing. She does this by having the nerve to be impatient, sighing sporadically, taking a stroll to have another gulp of blood, and then coming back to stand there, looking bored. 

“How’s it looking, gentlemen?” She asks in William’s voice. 

“We’re in,” One of them pants. 

Ruby clenches her fists, watching them lift the smaller pieces off, one of which slips and falls, making Christina’s lifeless arm slip off the concrete slab she’s laid on. 

“Be careful with her!” She hears William’s demanding voice and can’t deny she gets a thrill from the look of utter panic in the men’s eyes. She’ll never tire of making white men feel afraid. 

Smoothing down the front of her jacket, she turns to leave with one final instruction, “Get her to the address I provided. I will meet you there and you will get the rest of your money.” 

He beats them back to the house. There’s something about driving one of Christina’s cars that just really keeps her from driving at a reasonable speed. She wrings her hands, waiting, pacing back and forth in the foyer before the headlights of a truck slip through the curtains and Ruby steps outside to direct them to the back of the house, where they’ll be able to bring Christina inside through the basement door without much trouble, away from any curious neighbors. It’s close to sunrise, and it can’t hurt to be cautious.

Ruby can’t stand the thought of what could happen if she tried to pick her up herself. With William’s strength, she’s sure she can carry her inside, no problem, except she can’t pretend to not have a reaction to the limp state of Christina’s limbs, the caked blood on her dress, her neck, bent in completely the wrong way. So she lets one of them do it. 

Sure that William’s body is tucked away from view, she waits outside after giving instructions to lay her down on the empty hospital bed, and by the time the perturbed man emerges, the three of them line up in front of Ruby, awaiting the other half of their pay. 

“Here you go,” William says, handing them each their corresponding amount. “Appreciate your help.” 

He watches them head for the truck, and stops them just short of leaving, leaning into the driver’s side window. 

“Before I forget, et in oblivisci portare.” 

She watches their stares go blank for a moment before they blink and stare back confusedly. William smiles at them. 

“Thanks for the ride, I really appreciate it.”

“R-ride?” One of thems stammers. 

“Yeah, I don’t know what I would have done stranded on the road like that. I sure do appreciate you taking the time to drive me all the way out here. Please use some of the money to stay at a motel if you need to. It’s a long drive back home.” 

“Y-yes. We sure will.”

“Thanks a lot!” 

And she sends them off, waiting and waving one more time as they pull out of the driveway and drive off. Ruby turns and stares at the basement double doors and secures them shut before laying her hand upon it, closing her eyes through a steadying breath. She’s not ready for this. So, she rounds the house to the front door. The sun is truly rising in the distance, and the potion is beginning to wear off as she walks through the door. She’ll see her after, she thinks. Yes. After is better. 

Exhaustion weighs on Ruby after the transformation, though it very well can be every other thing going in her life mixed with sleep deprivation. She makes her way back to the basement soon after her shower. She walks down the stairs slowly, heart in her stomach and unprepared to see Christina up close in the condition she is in. 

She stops at the foot of the stairs, frozen there at the sight of her blood stained dress. The way her head lulls too far to the right makes Ruby furious and mortified. The strained desire to do something about writhes within her like stagnant electricity, and she closes her eyes, so as to ground herself, to will herself to find clarity first before acting. 

So she takes one deliberate step after the other, actively avoiding looking at Christina, lest it encourages her rage again, and stops at the work table. She’s seen some of this before, had gotten curious and Christina had let her wander around, picking up books and notes, reading through whatever piqued her interest on any given day. 

It’s all gibberish to her still, but she’s grasped the basic rules, and she’s watched Christina work and cast spells enough that she can use a few basic ones. Still, the notes are bits and pieces gathered by Christina over the years. Nothing she could find here could guide her through bringing her back. 

Ruby sits there, poring over everything for hours, until the sound of children in the neighborhood returning home from school filters in from outside, and Ruby’s no closer to finding a solution. 

She’s exhausted, frustrated–she could kill someone she’s so angry, but she’s good at compartmentalizing, and so she gathers Christina’s notebooks up and decides Leti is going to help her whether she likes it or not, but not without one final look at Christina from the foot of the stairs. Ruby doesn’t know what lies ahead with them, but she knows they’ll get past it. There’s no version of a future ahead that she can picture otherwise. Not anymore. 

***

Leti’s eyes are wide as they go when she opens the door and sees Ruby on her doorstep, seemingly the last person she thought she’d find there.

“Can I come in?” 

“I–yeah, of course. Come in.” 

Ruby walks right past Leti, who is humming with nervous energy. Ruby can see the empty apology coming a mile away. 

“Ruby, I--”

“I didn’t come here to do whatever it is you think we’re doing,” Ruby says, as she rounds to look at her the moment the door is closed behind them. “I’m not interested in hashing anything out with you-”

Out the corner of her eye, in the sitting room, Ruby spots the book of names, sitting open on a chair. Something tells her both sisters have been sitting around doing pretty much the same thing; not getting much sleep and reading through pages and pages of things they don’t quite understand yet. 

“I have a proposition for you,” Ruby says once she looks at Leti again. 

“Okay. What kind of proposition?” 

“You help me get Christina back, and I will help you bring Tic back.” 

Leti is instantly pissed. 

“Are you insane? I’m not helping you bring her back. Besides, I’ve looked all over the book of names already. Nothing good can come of bringing someone back from the dead, Ruby.” 

“What does that mean?”

“It means that even if there was a way to bring someone back from the dead,” she flails. “There’s no way of knowing what you’d get back. It’s one thing to jump into a portal and go back in time, but--just think about it. If stepping on a bug while messing around in there can make a whole mess, imagine what can happen if you get something wrong. What if--what if the person you bring back comes back wrong?” 

Ruby, pauses, taking in what Leti is suggesting. It’s definitely not a baseless fear.

“I get why you’d be scared,” Ruby starts softly. “There are so many things that can go wrong.” 

She thinks about Christina’s lessons, the last conversation they had about magic.

“There are endless variations when you’re starting from scratch. But you have the book of names. It would be like starting in the middle. Or not even the middle if a spell already exists. You just--can I take a look?” 

Leti shakes her head. “No. No, Ruby.”

Ruby lets out a disbelieving laugh. 

“No?”

They stare at each other. Ruby’s anger bubbles up, threatening to erupt any moment. 

“I have never asked you for anything, Leti. You owe me this. You OWE me!”

Watching Leti’s unshifting stance, Ruby can feel her chance to bring Chrisitna back slip away and she wants to scream. She chooses not to give Leti the satisfaction though. She takes a step forward, takes one studying breath, and makes sure her words are measured, precise, when she speaks. 

“Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t try anything to have Tic back. Tell me you wouldn’t kill to not have to raise your child alone, to be able to, to touch him again, to smell him again,” Her voice cracks but she catches herself, holding her hand up when Leti makes a move to reassure her. “You cannot want this, Leti. You can’t want to be without him. God knows I never understood what you saw in him, but I know you love him.”

Leti says nothing, not a crack visible in her resolve.

Ruby nods. 

“Okay. And here I was thinking you’d want to salvage what’s left of our relationship, but I guess all that talk about family was only relevant when you needed something, huh?” 

“Ruby.”

But she’s gone. She can’t be around Leti any longer. Ruby feels like the ground is falling out at her feet. She can’t breathe, she wants to hit something, she needs a drink, she needs--she needs Christina. 

She drives Christina’s car like Christina would drive it. Like a maniac. And when she gets home, to the home Christina had given her, Ruby allows herself a moment to simmer in her rage before she heads for the kitchens where she had laid out every piece of related research she could gather from the basement.

She can’t be down there, not while Christina is there, she can’t look at her when she’s like that. The thought that her body might have started to decompose–she can’t take it. So she thumbs through pages, inspects her shortlisted spells, the big ones she thought maybe she could add to, but it’s no use. Ruby doesn’t know nearly enough to even understand what she’s looking at. 

She gets up from the table and begins to pace, and pace, until she feels the last of her self control slip away and she has to brace herself on the kitchen sink, eyes tightly shut as she forces her breathing to steady, in and out, attempting to keep any other emotion besides anger at bay, nothing else will be useful now, but holding back only makes her shake with it and she starts to cry despite it, silent tears coming against her will. 

“God damn it,” she curses under her breath, a sob escaping her before she grips the edge tighter and tries to shake it off. She doesn’t quite have her breathing under control, when there’s a loud bang somewhere in the house, somewhere nearby. 

“Hello?” 

She’s startled, more than startled. It’s definitely scared the grief out of her for the time being, and she’s just about to resume her research when there’s another similar bang. She tracks it down to the study, where the door is ajar, and so she pushes it open slowly. 

“Hello?” 

She makes her way across the room to the window to test the latch, but it’s securely shut. She looks outside for a sign of an intruder, but there’s just the quiet evening. Another bang makes her jump and when she turns around, she sees them; three books that appear to have been flung from a bookshelf nearby are on the floor. She approaches slowly, wearily, and picks them up with the intention of putting them back in the vacant spots on the shelf, but her eye catches the title on the spine of one of them and she stops. 

_ The Practice of Earth Magick, Modern Wicca & Other Practices, Reanimation: Understanding The Laws of Nature. _

Every book on the shelf has something to do with Modern wicca. And for once, everything is in a language Ruby can understand.

She doesn't recall Christina spending much time in here, but she does remember seeing one or two books in the basement that looked like these. She finds it peculiar that she’s finding these now. It’s almost like someone was calling her in here, and for a second Ruby wonders if it’s Christina. If some part of her is lingering around trying to show her, trying to guide her. But Ruby’s not ready to let herself go there, it hurts too much, so she pushes the thought away and instead accepts it as some lucky coincidence, or perhaps some pretty big rats.

She brings the books up to bed with her, but not before pausing at the door to the basement where she lays her hand upon it–a wordless goodnight to Christina. 

Ruby reads well into the night, falling asleep in her clothes sometime after midnight, and again, she dreams of Christina, of that night.

She dreams of Christina’s lips on her own, kissing down her neck, her hands greedily molding her breasts. The weight of her body feels almost as real as Ruby’s arousal, and the memory of her cool hands gently parting her thighs, fingers delving up and up, teasing her, stroking her–it feels so real, but it’s no longer a dream replay of their night together. This is a new night, a night that hasn’t happened yet.

Now, Christina’s teeth nip at Ruby’s collar bone as she anchors her pelvis against her hand, grinding down against Ruby but not quite relieving the tension building between her legs. She can feel Christina’s breath against her skin, would even swear she can smell her perfume, hear her voice moan her name in her ear. 

“Ruby,” Christina softly whispers, sucking Ruby’s earlobe into her mouth as a hand slides up Ruby’s neck, a loose grip that tightens, testing before adding, “You miss me.” 

Ruby can’t quite tell if she’s still sleeping now, the way her body is humming, and her only reply is a guttural moan before the grip on her neck tightens with more confidence, leaning into the pressure, and there’s a breathless chuckle against her cheek as the grip on her neck gets more vicious, the weight of Christina’s body becoming less dreamlike and more solid, more deliberately suffocating, and now Ruby’s having a hard time breathing. 

She feels herself push at Christina’s, hears herself telling her it’s too tight, that she can’t breathe, and suddenly Ruby’s eyes snap open and Christina’s furious face is staring her down, telling her to bring her back, demanding it, the hand on Ruby’s throat not letting up and then Ruby’s gasping and pushing, she can feel herself slipping, losing all the air in her body. She feels like she’s dying and then...and then she’s awake, gasping and clutching at her throat as she feels around in the dark for the lamp on the bedside table. 

She sits up, taking in air by the gulps, scared and shaking...aroused. She looks around the room and sees the evidence of her nightmare in the form of scattered books on the floor, a spilled glass of bourbon, and--the door she was pretty sure she had closed. 

She looks down at herself, at the unbuttoned top buttons of her shirt, her ridden up skirt, and then she feels it, the griplike soreness around her neck and-

“Christina?” 

She can’t believe she’s doing this, can’t believe she’s allowed a dream to convince her to wonder if Chrisitna’s ghost has just tried to seduce her, maybe even kill her. 

There’s silence, and then suddenly pounding downstairs, but it’s not the books this time, it’s the door. 

After pushing her heart back into her chest, Ruby looks at the clock on the bedside table and frowns. It is indeed 1:30 in the morning. 

“Who the hell?”

Leti is who the hell. She’s frazzled and breathing heavily, clutching the book of names to her chest. 

“Okay,” she says. “How do we bring them back?” 


	2. The Carriage held but just Ourselves – And Immortality.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby and Leti figure out how to bring back Christina and Tic, and Ruby has to deal with the aftermath of her betrayal, as well as Christina's dramatic ass giving her the silent treatment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "magic" used here is basically out The Craft and Practical Magic. I have no desire to rewatch the show just for details, which I realize makes me a terrible fanfiction writer but I'm still salty about it. So. I hope you enjoy anyway!

_ “How do we bring them back?”  _

It takes Ruby a moment to register the words coming out of Leti’s mouth. She felt as though half asleep as she’d floated down the stairs, barely recognizing the polished wood floors beneath her bare feet as she made her way to the front door with the shadow of what had just occurred still looming over her, trailing behind like a cape. She shakes her head, still lost in that moment and pulls the door wide open. 

“Come in. I’ll make us some coffee.” 

She had left the light on earlier, and hadn’t bothered to clean up, or rather, had been too distracted by the incident with the books in the study to remember to clean up. Now, as she hurries to clear the table of books and writings she’s struggled to try and understand, she feels Leti’s curious albeit suspicious eyes upon the material, but before she can explain it all to her, Ruby needs to know her offer is in earnest, and so she stacks it all on the counter, on the far end near the toaster.

“Go on,” she motions at the table, “Sit.” 

Leti sits in silence as Ruby loads the pot with fresh coffee, her back to her sister as she then fills the pot with water and then walks it back toward the stove, which she promptly lights. She remains there, staring blankly at the beautiful patterned backsplash, focused on the green and black shapes as she recounts her dream, or not-dream, and the starkly clear sensation of having Christina on top of her. She breathes in and out slowly, closing her eyes as it all settles in. 

“I know this is crazy,” Leti says quietly from behind her. “But I think I saw Aticus. In my bedroom.” 

Ruby doesn’t reply, instead keeping her focus upon the patterns on the wall, listening for the coffee pot, holding onto her reaction until it’s done. 

She shuts the stove off and fills two cups, setting one down in front of Leti before taking a seat at the other side of the table. 

It’s not until she’s taken a sip and the hot burst of caffeine has successfully grounded her in the present moment that Ruby acknowledges what Leti’s just said. 

“It’s not crazy. I think Christina’s lingering around here, too.” 

Leti places the book of names on the table, it’s only now that Ruby realizes it had still been clutched in her arms. 

“Did you find something in there?” 

“What? Oh,” Leti touches the cover of the book and shakes her head. “No. I don’t, I don’t really know why I brought this with me. I couldn’t find anything and I'm still not very good at reading it, so even if there were something-” she waves her hand in the air letting the sentence disperse in the air as a dry chuckle escapes her. “Hippolyta won’t help me. She says this isn’t part of the plan and we should just let it go. She’s uh, I think she’s still upset about D.” 

“What about D? Is she okay?” 

Leti stops mid drink, blinking up at Ruby as she carefully sets her cup down. Her mouth opens a couple of times but nothing comes out and Ruby’s growing suspicious at the way Leti’s posture changes. The way she sits up and leans forward like she’s getting ready to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear. 

“Leti. Is Diana okay? Is it her arm again?” 

“No, she’s fine, she-” 

“Spit it out, Leti.” 

“Ruby, Diana...after Christina killed Tic, we-she was trapped under the rubble and Diana was supposed to be waiting in the car so she’d be safe but she must have found her way out and she-she…”

“She what!” Ruby snaps, unimpressed by Leti’s stammering, the way she’s averting her eyes. 

“D killed Christina.”

Ruby’s silent, still in incomprehensible anger as Leti finally finds the courage to look her in the eye. 

“Please don’t be upset with her, she’s just a kid. She was angry and--”

“How?” 

“What?”

“How did she do it?” But Leti doesn’t have to say a word for Ruby to guess, remembering the state of Christina’s body when she found her. “Her neck.”

Leti bows her head, hand idly turning the cup this way and that. Some would say it’s shame, even regret, but Ruby knows better and she knows the only regret Leti knows is the regret of getting caught. 

“So,” Ruby says, her voice quiet, but dripping with disdain, “You left a child alone to kill a woman–a woman who had helped save her life no less, but it’s okay because you had left her to die anyway, right? You’re a church girl now, huh? That sitting right with your spirit?” 

“As right as Tic’s death would have sat with yours,” Leti counters harshly.

“I never pretended to give a shit about that man.” 

“Then what’s all this about you not wanting me to raise my child alone? Was that just bullshit to get me to help you?” 

“Yes,” Ruby answers easily. “Just like you used me and that soft spot I got for family that I can’t seem to bury, to get what you wanted. How does it feel, Leti? To be hit right where it hurts the most. Now imagine doing that all your life for someone who doesn’t even appreciate it, take that feeling and imagine feeling it all your life. Not just once, but over and over, and over. Maybe then you’ll begin to understand me just a little bit.”

“I’m sorry,” Leti says after a quiet moment. “I am. About Christina, about everything. But you’re right. I am who I am, and you are who you are. So where does that leave us?”

Ruby breathes slowly, in and out as she looks at her baby sister, who she’s bailed out more times than she can count, in every way possible, who’s here asking yet again for something she wouldn’t give her only hours prior, and for a moment, she considers throwing her out, figuring it out on her own, but a lick of cool air along her neck reminds her, she might need Leti.

Maybe not for this, but she will need something from her in the future. It isn’t ideal, but it’s what she’s got, and so she pushes her chair back and, eyes still upon Leti’s, she tells her, “Stay here, I have to show you something.” 

*********

Ruby returns from the bedroom in a change of clothes, something cooler, more comfortable, and the books she had been reading through, along with a couple more she scoops up from the study on the way back to the kitchen. 

The table is big enough that she can spread everything out with enough room left over for coffee, and a bottle of whiskey. 

“I found these in Christina’s study.”

Ruby shows Leti a dog eared page in one of the books. It’s a section on divination, and the interconnectedness of the body and the earth. 

“In earlier chapters, it talks about different kinds of magic and the languages used to practice it. Latin is a common one used in modern wicca. It’s not quite as old as Adamic languages, but it does the trick. It’s about simplicity. The language of Adam has fewer words than any other which is what makes it so powerful, and also very easy to mess up when you’re talking about writing a new spell. You understand?” 

Leti nods.

“Latin works to a certain degree–it’s like watered down spell writing, but with the right elements, it can work just as well. It’s kind of like baking versus cooking. With cooking, you can add spices to taste, but when you’re baking, you have to be precise. You leave one thing off and you’re fucked. The Language of Adam is baking and you and me, we’re not the best bakers, so we’re going to have to stick to cooking.” 

“Okay,” Leti looks at the Book of Names. “So, we don’t need that then.”

“Well, let’s hope not. The concept itself is pretty new, but the basis of the thing is pretty old-goes back to ancient pagan practices, it’s...what?” 

“Nothing,” Leti says and shakes her head. “You just really sound like you know what you’re talking about.” 

Ruby shrugs and waves her off before pouring herself a good amount of whiskey. The coffee might have gotten cold, but the heat of the whiskey will keep her bones warm through this. She takes one drink and another, her mind considering an outcome wherein she doesn’t get Christina back, where she has to grieve and hurt for who knows how long, and it warrants another, bigger gulp, and another until she no longer feels much but her blood pumping hot throughout her body. 

Leti says something Ruby doesn't hear, and she blinks, looking at her. 

“What?” 

“Is she worth all this trouble? Would she do the same for you?”

Ruby thinks about Christina, standing there, hurt and angry, how just as easily, Ruby wouldn’t have awoken at all. It would have been easier to remove the obstacle once and for all. She thinks about Leti sitting here with her because Christina made Ruby a promise. It’s the easiest answer, really. 

“In a second.” 

Leti stares at Ruby long and hard then, leaning back in her seat, shaking her head. 

“Alright. So walk me through this. What do we need?” 

What they need, as it turns out, is some rest. They go over the jest of what Ruby’s read so far; about using the elements, and bending the natural order of things, about binding, and how casting spells is a lot like writing a recipe. It’s nearly three in the morning when Ruby finally sends Leti on her way. She almost asks her to stay - late nights with her sister being what they are; easy and reminiscent of those early years when their mother was almost a mother. But her rencor runs deep, and she’s just about hit her limit of hits she’s able to take from her family, so she waves her off at the porch, waiting for Woody’s tail lights to disappear up the street to shut and lock the door. 

Ruby stands there, in the quiet, dimly lit foyer and she dreads going back upstairs to that empty bed. She glances at the stairs and can’t help the warmth from her chest to her core at the memory. 

She inhales sharply, prepared to say something, at what, she isn’t sure. For all she knows, she could be imagining things, but, just in case–

“I’m trying, okay? I…” she sighs, “I could just as easily be talking to an empty house, but I’m trying. I know you’re angry…”

She stops, attempting to control the emotion she’s having a harder time suppressing the more time passes, and her voice drops to a whisper, “I’m angry, too, damn it.” 

There’s nothing. No books being tossed around, no disembodied voices, no creaky floorboards. It’s just her, and the empty bed that she won’t face without the bottle of whiskey she left in the kitchen, so she brings it with her, along with the pile of research she refuses to put down, and she drinks straight from the bottle until she can’t keep her eyes open. Just before she drifts off, she thinks she feels a cool caress across her forehead, but she’s too far gone, and ahead, there’s only sleep.

*************

It’s warm when she wakes, too warm for her liking with the headache she finds herself nursing the moment she opens her eyes. Ruby’s no stranger to hangovers, but this one takes the cake. Somehow, crying and drinking don’t make for the best of combinations, and she’s feeling that terrible concoction to its full effect. 

It’s eight in the morning, and that makes her angry, though she knew this would happen. She never could quite sleep in after a long night of drinking. Slipping into a hot bath seems to alleviate the pain, if only for a moment. As Ruby leans back against the marble, she attempts to keep her thoughts from betraying her into a trip through memory lane, to moments of Christina undressing her, and then bathing her, comforting her without a single question asked. 

Her headache is back instantly and suddenly she can’t stand the bath another second, so she rises from the tub and drains the water, dressing as quickly as possible to get away from the spaces she and Christina shared their most intimate moments. The memories are the loudest in all this silence. 

She intends on making coffee with a little hair of the dog to get her going and then getting straight to work, but she stops at the foot of the stairs, and suddenly set on a different course of action for her morning, heads back upstairs to rummage through Christina’s clothing. She goes through the myriad of custom made pieces and expensive fabrics, trying the entire time not to linger too long–god forbid she might smell her perfume and crumble there in the closet. 

Finally content with a black dress she can imagine wearing Christina on any given day, Ruby brings it to the basement, eyes avoiding the general direction of Christina’s current resting place. 

When she gets upstairs, she holds onto the doorknob after shutting the basement door, closing her eyes for a moment, willing the bit of whiskey she’s consumed already to quiet the lingering doubt still impeding her resolve. The same staticky energy then propels her and she strides purposefully toward the telephone, dialing quickly and not bothering with an explanation when Leti picks up.

“I need you to pick up a few things before you come back here.” 

There’s no questioning, or arguing, or much of anything besides, “Let me get a pen,” and then just the sound of her scribbling away as Ruby gives her a list of items. When she hangs up, Ruby busies herself with changing the sheets in the bedroom; a manifestation of sorts. 

Let arrives a few hours later, carrying bags full of items on Ruby’s shopping list straight through to the kitchen. 

“I have been running all over the city looking for this stuff. The looks people were giving me.” 

Ruby brings handwritten instructions over and places the sheet of paper on the table, gently pushing it over for Leti to see. 

“What’s that?” Leti asks, though Ruby can tell she has a pretty good idea, judging by the way her breath quickens just a fraction. 

“That,” Ruby replies calmly, “Is the spell we’re going to use to bring Atticus and Christina back. We need all this stuff you got for it to work. And we need to dig up Atticus. The closer he physically is to you, the better.”

“What about Christina? How are you–”

“Christina’s here.”

“What? What do you mean she’s here?” 

Ruby licks her lips and sighs.

“I -- she’s in the basement.”

“You got a dead body in the basement?” 

Ruby opts to leave out the part about there being two dead bodies and just nods. 

“Not bringing her back was never an option. I just needed to figure out how I was going to do it.” 

Leti sinks into a chair and runs her palm down her face. 

“This is fucking crazy.” 

“Leti, look at me,” Ruby sternly orders, waiting for till she has Leti’s full attention to continue. “It’s important that you understand, because you have to do this alone–this is a binding spell. Which means you’d be bringing back Atticus by binding him to your lifeline. That’s forever. Are you okay with that?” 

“We’re bound already,” Leti replies, as if it were obvious. Ruby doesn’t ask her again despite being unsure on her behalf.

“Are  _ you _ sure that’s what you want to do? You want to bind yourself to this woman forever?”

Ruby smiles softly to herself. If she were to say she doesn’t feel like she has much of a choice, she’d feel ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe it. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” 

Leti takes a breath and then pushes herself to stand.

“I hope Montrose has a shovel.” 

Ruby listens to Leti ease Montrose into their plan, and then she hears her argue with him, hears her shout and cry, until it’s a foggy distant thing and all Ruby can think about is what she’s committing to, and how it should be scarier than it feels. It doesn’t get more serious than raising the dead, they might as well be married. And wouldn’t Christina love that? She must be loving it, wherever she is, hovering between this world and the next. 

And then Ruby laughs, because out of all the crazy things she’s done for love before, this has got to be the craziest, and who would have thought it would be for a rich, entitled, blonde witch with a flair for the dramatic. 

************

The hardest part is waiting. 

Despite spending the remainder of the morning convincing Montrose to help them dig up Tic, and then spending most of the day actually digging up Tic and transferring him to Leti’s without anyone noticing, Ruby’s got far too much time left before night comes. Time that she fills with a hot shower to wash the sweat and cemetery dirt off before she resumes her aimless pacing about the house, going over her spell, over and over, looking through the ingredients to her twisted little recipe just to double check and triple check. 

Eventually, just before she succeeds in driving herself completely crazy, the time comes, and she feels nervous making her way back to Christina. Now, with no choice but to face what’s ahead, she’s scared. Not so much of failing, but of what happens after. What happens when Christina wakes up and they have to face the fallout they didn’t get to resolve before this. 

She brings a porcelain mixing bowl down to the basement with her, along with the necessary items, and mixes it all in a bowl at Christina’s bedside; rubbing alcohol to cleanse, water to purify, with lavender oil and mugwort for protection from any dark forces that might try to latch onto Christina’s spirit on her way back - salt around the perimeter for extra precaution, and white candles lit around the circle of salt, to lock in and secure them both, one at each presumed point of the pentagram. 

Upstairs, there’s a bath waiting with a similar concoction. Ruby prays she won’t have to drain the water without it being used first. 

Ruby carefully undresses Christina, taking her time in pulling the formerly white dress off her bruised body before dressing her the black one she’d chosen earlier. It’s not easy, maneuvering Christina’s lifeless body in and out of clothing, and Ruby dreads handling the broken bones and stiffened limbs. When she’s got her dressed, she stands beside her and braces herself upon the bed, closing her eyes as she inhales deeply and then exhales a shaky breath, and that’s all the weakness she grants herself, because she needs to do this, she needs to be grounded and solid. 

The next breath comes easier, and when she draws the knife she brought from the kitchen, it’s a swift movement to cut straight down her palm. She winces and drops the knife, gripping her wrist as the blood drips easily into the bowl and the mixture begins to stir itself.

She wraps her hand in a dish towel and promptly picks up the bowl, turning Christina’s palm upward before dipping her middle and index fingers in the bowl to then draw a red circle upon Christina’s hand while reciting, “Your blood, my blood, out of the darkness into our light.” 

Moving down the table, Ruby proceeds to do the same to the tops of Christina’s feet, repeating the phrase with every circle drawn, all the while the contents of the bowl continue to stir.

“Your blood, my blood, out of the darkness into our light.”

She draws a circle upon Christina’s other palm before standing at the head of the bed, where she then draws the last one on her forehead, pausing to gaze upon her face before moving onto the next step.

Upon setting the bowl on the floor, Ruby picks up the knife and dips it in the remnants of oil, blood and water and then brings the blade to Christina’s other palm. 

“Your blood, my blood, out of the darkness into our light,” she says, slicing into Christina’s hand before setting the knife down and removing the towel form her own wounded hand and then bringing it to Chrisitna’s in a secure grip while repeating, “Your blood, my blood, out of the darkness into our light.” 

The blood that had dripped down Ruby’s forearm suddenly reverses back to its point of origin, disappearing between their joint hands, igniting a light that seems to come from underneath both their skin, Ruby’s and Christina’s, and it’s hot as it travels up their arms, slowly trekking through their bodies, visibly healing Christina’s wounds, filling her with life. 

Ruby holds her breath after the light dissipates and the heat that had grown almost intolerable simmers to normal body heat exchanged between their joint hands. She waits for any sign of wakefulness, anything that points to the spell having worked. 

Ruby wants to cry, wants to shake Christina awake. She’s about to do just that when a loud gasping breath is heard and Christina’s hold tights around Ruby’s hand before dropping it in favor of touching her neck as she screams and cries. 

“Christina-” Ruby tries to hold her, to hold her down so she can reassure her, but Christina’s sitting up now, blue eyes staring wildly out at nothing as she sobs and touches every place on her body where there was once an injury. 

Ruby waits helplessly for her to settle down, for her body to stop shaking, and when she’s crying into her hands, she finally reaches out, gingerly touching her shoulder. 

“Christina, you’re okay.”

She flinches at the touch, jerking her head up for a moment and then dissolving into painful desperate sobs again in Ruby’s arms. 

“Shh,” she says, rubbing her back, her own tears streaming down, beyond her control. “I know. It’s okay.” 

When the crying subsides, Ruby starts gently, “If you can walk, we need to get you upstairs, okay? I have to get you in the bath. Can you walk?” 

Christina nods and Ruby helps her off the bed, hand on her back as she guides her upstairs. It’s a quiet trip there. Christina doesn’t say a word up until they get to the bathtub and Ruby begins to undo the buttons of her dress. 

“I’ve got it,” Christina says, with an edge to her voice that takes Ruby by surprise, turning away as she undresses, and only looking back at her once she’s in the tub.

There’s a hardness there, and Ruby can only stand there and ask, “Can I help you bathe?” 

“I’m fine,” Christina snaps, and then, because she’s still Christina and Christina will always have a soft spot for Ruby no matter how mad she is, she adds, “Thank you.” 

The phone rings downstairs just then, and Ruby nods at Christina. 

“I’ll go get that. We’ll talk when you’re ready.” 

But Christina isn’t ready for a while. She isn’t ready after Ruby gets off the phone with Leti, who is ecstatic over Tic being back. In fact, Ruby finds her in bed, sleeping or pretending to sleep. Christina isn’t ready in the morning, when Ruby makes her breakfast that she doesn't eat because she refuses to leave her bedroom. And she certainly isn’t ready in the evening, when she leaves her room only to lock herself up in the basement until late at night, when Ruby hears her walk down the hall past her bedroom, the one they normally share. She thinks she hears her stop just outside the door, thinks she hears her start to turn the handle before leaving and slamming the door to the room she’s chosen to sleep in shut. 

Ruby wants to understand. She wants to give Christina the room to recharge and to be angry, and to do what she needs to do. She can’t begin to understand the trauma of being brought back from the dead. Who knows what horrors she experienced in the short time, but Ruby also cannot get past the fact that Christina placed her under some magical coma without so much as a discussion about the situation. 

As happy as she is to have her back, Ruby is also growing tired of being dismissed and ignored like she’s the only one who’s made a mistake. And so she gives her the night.

She doesn’t make her breakfast in the morning, mostly because she finds her in the kitchen, drinking coffee, head buried in the paper, ignoring her still. 

“Are we going to do this forever? You’re just going to pretend I’m not here and sulk?”

No answer. 

“Fine.”

She leaves. Where she’s going, she has no idea, but she knows she does not want to be around all of Christina’s silence. Ruby can feel the animosity seeping out of her pores and she cannot handle it. She doesn’t know how to apologize when she herself feels wronged. When she herself has come back from the dead, passive as her experience might be in comparison, it was done without her permission. 

She considers walking at first, out of spite because she knows it will drive Christina crazy, but on second thought, she grabs Christina’s car keys from the table in the foyer and takes William’s car, because why not? She drives it with the top down and scarf to protect her hair from the breeze–she intends on driving fast. 

As it turns out, she doesn’t get very far, finding herself instead driving around town, seeing all her familiar spots and familiar people; somehow, that sets her at ease somewhat, to see that life goes on as usual no matter what inner turmoil she might be battling. Businesses are opening, mail is being delivered, breakfast being served at her favorite diner. For a moment, that seems appealing and she pulls up but finds she can’t get herself out of the car. Eating alone is the worst possible thing, she decides and so she keeps on driving. 

That she finds herself at the place she and Christina first met is another punch in the gut and she curses her subconscious autopilot for bringing her here. What is she supposed to do at a bar this early in the morning anyway? 

Ruby sighs and is about to resume her drive when Sammy appears from around the corner. 

He spots her before she does him, and catches her off guard when he walks up from behind the car. 

“Ruby?” 

“Hey!” Ruby looks over her shoulder, and gives Sammy a friendly little wave and a smile she hopes won’t reek of misery. “Hey, Sammy, how are you?” 

His smile falters when he gets a better look at her and now Ruby knows her poker face isn’t exactly her best right now. 

“Better than you, it seems.”

Ruby’s eyebrow goes up and she breathes a laugh as she shrugs. 

“Just needed a drive.” 

“Hmm.” Sammy motions toward the bar. “Want some breakfast?” 

“You make breakfast here?” 

“Sure! We’ve got a working kitchen. Come on. I’ll make you a cup of coffee. You can keep me company while I restock.” 

Ruby shuts the car engine off, but waits. 

Sammy looks back at her once he’s got the door open, “Come on.” 

“It’s strange being here during the day,” she observes, taking a seat at the bar. She thinks maybe the same seat from that night she met William. 

“Kind of loses its magic, doesn’t it?” 

“A little, yeah.” 

“I’ll be right back,” he says and disappears into the backroom. 

“Can I help with anything?” 

“No, honey, you relax, I’ll be right out.” 

It really is strange being here without the ambience. Without the music and the energy that only the middle of the night can provide, it’s just a room with tables and empty chairs. It’s a ghost town of a room, but somehow, it's just what she needs; a familiar place without the pressure of familiar faces that will ask too many questions. One friendly face is support, while more than that is pressure. 

Moments later, the smell of breakfast wafts through the building and not long after that, Sammy emerges with a tray of food - eggs, bacon and toast for two and a fresh pot of coffee. 

“That smells great,” she tells him, reaching for the coffee and pouring some for both.

They eat in silence for a while, Ruby in her seat, while Sammy eats at the other side of the bar, every once in a while inquiring about simple things, making small talk, nothing too involved, not until they’re just about done with their food and Sammy’s topping off their coffee. 

“So uh, what’s got you roaming around like a kicked puppy?”

Ruby shakes her head. 

“Nothing. I’m fine.” 

“That tall drink of water that used to hang around here?” 

She glances up briefly, “No.” 

“The other tall drink of water I’ve seen driving around town with? The one with the legs?” 

Ruby looks up again, this time holding his gaze before replying, “Sort of. Sort of both.” 

Sammy’s eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t seem shocked, in fact he seems more intrigued than anything, and he turns around for a moment to reveal a bottle of whiskey he pours right into their respective mugs. 

“It’s ten in the morning,” Ruby laughs. 

“People have troubles at ten int he morning, too,” he says, “Spill, honey.” 

And spill she does, as much as she can anyway. She tells him about the antagonistic relationship between Christina and Leti, and Tic. She tells him that there was a blow out and that she doesn’t know what to do. She explains, omitting the direct truth, that they’ve both been unkind to each other and that they’re not speaking. That they’ve only recently gotten close and that she’s afraid they won’t move past it. 

Sammy listens, letting her vent and cry a little, not offering unsolicited advice or judging her, and it’s exactly what Ruby needs. By their second irish coffee, she’s warmed up and empty of the burden she was carrying, and all Sammy does is reach across the bar for her hand. 

With a warm smile Ruby returns, he says, “Honey, if she’s worth her salt, she’ll get over it. Family’s complicated. To say the least.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Ruby replies, giving Sammy’s hand a squeeze. “You mind if I hang out here a while?” 

“Not at all,” he says, giving her one final pat. “Make yourself comfortable, play some music.” 

The day crowd shows up around noon, and Ruby sticks around well past four, when the night crowd starts shuffling in, and that’s when she leaves. Sammy tells her to wait, that he’ll drive her home, but she slips out anyway, and she really shouldn’t be driving. She’s drunk enough that she shouldn’t be driving, but she does anyway, the steering wheel in a death grip the entire way to Christina’s, where she drives over the sidewalk on her way into the driveway. 

She kicks her shoes off at the front door, dropping her keys, sunglasses and purse along with her heels before heading straight upstairs, stumbling a little, but not so much that she doesn’t know where she is, just...enough to not care. She needs a nap, and so she heads for her bedroom, where she leaves the door open as she heads straight for the window.

There’s a nice breeze outside for once and she stands there, watching the sun set in the distance as she undoes her sundress, lowering the side zipper before pushing the straps off her shoulders and letting the pretty green fabric pool at her feet. She’s skipped stockings today. The heat just did not forgive stockings, and so she climbs out of her dress and leans against the window sill in her underwear.

It’s a nice lacy number she put on in hopes of enticing Christina into talking to her, but now she feels like an idiot thinking about it. She closes her eyes against the breeze as it caresses her face and she inhales and exhales leisurdly, allowing the buzz of the many Irish coffees to continue to course through her.

Something, probably the whiskey, makes her think of her night with Christina. Their last one. The one in their own skin. Ruby shivers and she clenches involuntarily, dropping her head forwards. Drinking was a bad idea. 

A floorboard creaks behind her and she turns in a start, relaxing once she sees it’s just Christina. Christina, who is leaning against the doorframe, a bottle of something brown in her hand as she eyes Ruby with interest. 

Ruby suddenly recalls what she’s wearing, or not wearing, and she thinks about reaching for her robe for a second before deciding she doesn’t need to and instead squaring her shoulders and bracing her hips. 

“Mind shutting the door?” 

Christina smirks at her, her eyes swallowing her whole before she takes a long swig of whatever it is she’s been drinking. 

“I do mind, actually,” she replies eventually, setting the bottle down at her feet, and then she’s advancing and Ruby’s moving forward, and their lips clash in the middle of the room.

The last time they did this, the first time, it was soft, and sweet, a slow build up. This time isn’t that. 

It’s deliberate and hard, and intense, and their kisses are sloppy as they refuse to part while they undress each other. Nails scrape skin as articles of clothing are all but ripped off and they eventually fall into bed, Christina’s teeth upon Ruby’s breast, making her cry out even as she pushes Christina’s underwear off and wedges a hand between her legs, stilling her for a moment with the stroke of her fingers inside her. 

Hovering astride Ruby, Christina rides her fingers, grinding down against her hand as she keens into Ruby’s shoulder, hands gripping the covers on either side of Ruby’s head. She shoves Ruby’s hand out before she can get her to her breaking point however, pinning Ruby’s wrists above her head with one hand as her eyes rake over her face. 

Ruby stares back, breathless as Christina runs her free palm down the side of her neck, bringing back memories of her hand around her neck in her dreams, making Ruby’s hips jut up with a soft grunt, but Christina’s focus is unwavering as she runs her palm hotly down Ruby’s chest, over her left breast, squeezing and pinching until Ruby’s panting heavily and squirming, until Christina’s hand has found its way between her legs, holding Ruby’s gaze as she teases her clit with her index finger, moving in slow, wide circles. 

“Spread your legs,” she requests, blue eyes boring into brown ones.

Ruby does as asked, spreading her legs wide and moaning loudly at the added pressure allowed by the exposure, the painstakingly slow circles making her wetter by the second until she’s dripping down her ass. She tugs at her wrists but Christina’s hold is firm, and so Ruby lifts her hips instead, chasing the release Christina’s deliberately denying her. 

Christina is riveted it seems, by the rise and fall of Ruby’s chest, the different sounds she makes when she slides her fingers lower, circling her entrance but not fully fucking her, the desperate little moans Ruby can’t help but emit. 

She won’t beg. She won’t do it. Christina knows she won’t do it. But she coaxes her anyway, alternating between slow and quick circles, teasing her over and over, mouth wrapped around Ruby’s nipple, then other until she’s moaning, sharp uncontrollable moans and her body shakes, aching for release. 

“God damn it, Christina, just fuck me…” she groans and then cries out when Christina slips two fingers swiftly inside her, pumping deeply, before dragging them out slowly, taking care to rub upwards. She does this a few times before fucking her a little faster, a little deeper, firmer. 

Ruby can vaguely feel Chrisitna’s tongue as she licks up her chest and neck the way her body is suddenly overwhelmed by a million other sensations and she sobs a moan into Christina’s mouth when she comes, bearing down on her bottom lip as her body trembles violently with her release. 

Christina’s fingers remain inside her pussy as her tongue remains in her mouth. She kisses Ruby all the way through it, easing her back down to earth and back off again. The moment she releases Ruby’s wrists, Christina’s flipped onto her back. 

It’s near dark outside as Ruby trails her mouth down Christina’s torso, more confident than the last time she did this. She nips at Christina’s hip and her inner thigh before pushing her legs apart and lapping at her generously, holding her hips down as she sucks at her labia and then slips her tongue inside her. Christina seems to like that best, judging by the way she’s pulling at the sheets. 

Ruby hears a drawn out “Fuck” above her and then heavy breathing when she holds her open and licks around her clit, flicking it occasionally with the tip of her tongue, enjoying the way Christina’s hips jerk at that, and the throaty cries that come with it. 

It’s likely they’ll go back to not speaking after this. Ruby is sure it will likely be a while before they’re able to address everything, but for now, this is good. Right now, she just wants to know there’s a heart beating in this body, that there’s heat under this skin. She looks up from between trembling legs to find Christina staring back at her, mouth slack as she breathes heavily, watching Ruby eat her out, brow furrowed as Ruby flattens her tongue against her, and then licks a little closer to the base of clit, faster until Christina falls back against the bed and then she’s writhing and coming sharply with Ruby’s name on her lips. 

“Come here,” Christina pants eventually, urging Ruby up, and Ruby goes, falling right back into it as their lips meet in a heated, languid kiss that gets them going all over again. 

Ruby doesn’t dream that night, because she doesn’t sleep much, and when she wakes, Christina isn’t in bed with her. 

It’s nearly sunrise, and Ruby’s alone. 

It’s nearly sunrise, and Ruby is tired. 

After rolling out of bed, she reaches for her robe and goes in search of Christina. She looks in the other bedrooms, in the basement, and eventually finds her in the kitchen, sitting at the table with her goddamn newspaper. 

“You cannot shut me out this way,” Ruby tells her, not waiting for a silent reply when Christina lowers the newspaper. “I understand you’re angry. I know what I did to you was wrong, but you do not get to put me in a coma and then go out and get yourself killed. I woke up and you were gone. I had to drag your body back here and...” her voice shakes so she stops to catch her breath, steeling herself in her own anger before continuing.

“I mourned you, goddamn it! You don’t get to be mad at me. Trust me, you can’t hurt me anymore than I’ve already hurt. It was pain I didn’t want or expect, and that’s enough!” 

She takes a step toward Christina, who’s still staring back at her, expressionless, which is only riling Ruby up more.

“We’re bound for life,” Ruby says, pointing a finger at her. “My blood runs through you now, so you’re just going to have to get over it. And I know what they did to you. I know they banned you from magic, but we will figure it out. We will get around this. I’m here. You can’t fuck me like that and then just shut down.”

Ruby doesn’t know what Christina’s going to say, but she’s sure it will be something ugly, something accusatory. She expects blame, maybe even a threat, but what she doesn’t expect is what comes out of her mouth instead.

“Would you like some coffee?” 

“What?” 

“I came downstairs to make you coffee,” Christina explains, pointing at the coffee pot, heating up on the stove. “I was going to bring it up–I thought we could talk.” 

“Oh.” 

Ruby watches Christina fidget with the newspaper, folding it once, twice, eyes averting as the silence momentarily settles around them and the tension dissolves. 

“Ruby,” Christina says softly, looking up. “if you hadn't brought me back, I would have crawled through every circle of hell to get back to you. Magic or not.” 

Ruby nods, no longer able to fight the tears that start falling now. It’s from relief mostly, but it’s heavy still, and new between them. Not the honesty, that’s always been paramount, but openly feeling this, and honestly admitting it, it’s new. 

There’s a tug at Ruby’s hand and she lets Christina pull her onto her lap, where she lifts her hand up to her lips while Ruby closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, leaning into Christina’s lips when they kiss her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Christina quietly tells her and then tilts her chin up. “I was always going to come back to you, I swear.”

There’s a stern assurance when their eyes meet again. Christina’s always looked at Ruby like she’s the only person in existence, like nothing else matters but what she feels, what she says, what she wants. It used to overwhelm her before, scare her a little, but now she realizes it was just that she wasn’t sure it was real. But it is, Christina is. It’s the first time Ruby considers she might actually love this person, and that’s no longer frightening. Now that they’re linked forever, it seems just right. 

As they kiss, Ruby decides that for all of Christina’s intensity and darkness, she is her other half, for better or worse, and she will commit to giving her everything as well, all the magic she desires, and a life together, free of interruptions. 


End file.
